I took a 4 month break from an app I used every day, Instagram. I loved making stories, sharing my life with the world, sharing my struggles and joys and all the things I thought were fascinating and cool. I loved asking questions and interacting with strangers and friends alike. I loved keeping up with everyone and seeing what everyone was up to.
But like everything good, it comes with some negatives. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to understand the negatives associated with social media. We all know its often mindless scrolling, easy comparison, constant ads and algorithms telling you that the app knows what you want.
I intended on taking a week off and then it turned into two and before I knew it I didn’t have a single desire to keep up with the goings on of instagram. I didn’t care what people were up to, I didn’t want to buy anything, I didn’t even feel I missed out on anything. Sure I didn’t have a clue what was going on in the news or even with some of my closest friends but I could live my life like I did in the 90s. I just lived it! And I didn’t even have to rewind a VHS or wear a high pony to do so!
Here’s what this break taught me and why I decided to come back:
- I really didn’t save that much time
I thought I’d have all this extra free time to write and create and learn new things and skills, and workout and all these other things, but the honest truth was I found myself on tiktok more and I just played more candy crush. I will say though, what I love about tiktok is that it’s mostly strangers. I compare myself less to people when I don’t know them, and tiktok knows that what I want to see are dogs and amazing singer songwriters and cool hacks and hilarious viral videos. I thought about going off tiktok too, and I know I could’ve but I liked being on it and it didn’t give me the anxiety that I found instagram did.
- 2. I take waaaay less photos
My camera roll is always so full of dumb things I post to my insta stories, but I found when I wasn’t on insta I’d go days without taking a single photo of something. I was able to be more present (not that I go all out for photos, and they only take 5 seconds to take) but I just lived life without making something look cool or arranging something to look interesting
- 3. I had more in depth conversations with people
This was probably my favorite part. We’re all guilty of watching someones stories or seeing someones posts and feeling “up to date” on their life. I feel like I “know” what so many of my friends and acquaintances are doing that I often don’t feel I need to reach out to them because I’m already caught up. But getting texts from people asking for life updates and inquiring what I’m up to felt extra special because it often ignited conversations one on one that I crave and value so much
- 4. I felt more at peace
I can’t really explain this one. I am super intentional about who and what I follow and set good boundaries for myself on social media so I don’t find it makes me super anxious but I just had a constant peace that I can’t really explain. I had anxiety around some personal things that I don’t wish to disclose here. But my anxiety was around the possibility of seeing things “pop up” and hurt me, so I know being away from the potential of seeing things I didn’t wish to see helped me feel peace. I also felt peace knowing I didn’t have to compare myself to anyone. I don’t care how solid you are or how confident you feel, no matter how happy you are for your peers and how content you are on your own path, I think we all experience comparison at some point and to remove this piece for me was huge. I felt so directed on my personal journey which was so appreciated.
Overall, like previous social media breaks, I always find it beneficial and cleanses the parts of me that I never focus on cleansing. Our brains need cleansing too.
Now What?
I toyed with the idea of going back or not. When I first tried to login it said my account no longer existed. I shrugged and said ok, I guess that’s over and done with then, but I kept getting asked by friends when I was going to come back. Although it feels nice to be missed, I can’t help but feel it’s so weird and stupid to question going back to an online scrapbook. No one truly cares if I’m on or off this app. There are still ways to communicate and find out about each others lives and no one will lose sleep whether or not I am “online”. I know that. You know that.
Social media is a crazy world and to be honest I don’t really feel like going back. I don’t really feel ready and I don’t feel like I need to have it back in my life, but I logged into my two business accounts to try to keep them going and didn’t feel excited to be back or sad. I guess you could say it just felt indifferent.
I tried again to login tonight, and put through the proof to instagram to reinstate my account. I have 24 hours until I will be “let” back in. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready or if I want to be back but I figured at the very least I’d login and share this blog for anyone who’s curious about a break. I figured I’d update whoever is interested and stay as long as I feel comfortable and then maybe come back once a week to check in. Or maybe I’ll get back on and get back into it like old times.
One thing I do know, is that it’s never a bad thing to take a break… from life, from work, from whatever isn’t serving you, or in this case, for me, social media.
Up My Alli 